Take Me Somewhere Else
Newsflash – not everyone on the planet believes in an old man in the sky who sits on a throne doling out rules and stuff, and using his pretend son to get his word out there to those who will listen. Some of us are Atheists. True story. So when this “Christmas” time comes rolling around, it’s really just one big ball of fat inconvenience to us.
The music doesn’t make me happy. It’s annoying. And I am forced to endure it from mid-November(ish) to December 26. That’s over 30 days of music I’m not fond of being bombarded at me on the radio, in stores, on the street, on tv. Stop it. Enough already. It’s like listening to Ariana Grande music every hour of every day for 30 days. Knee deep into the second day I’m wanting to break shit.
Let’s not even mention what goes on during my television viewing. The ads are displaying many forms of Saint Nicholas, along with snow and music and what’s up with the cars that no one can afford being displayed as Christmas gifts in the driveways? I would LOVE to be in a family who gives me a car for ANY holiday. It doesn’t even need to be a holiday. And then there are the non-stop ads for sales for things I can’t even afford on a day in let’s say…April even at the sale price. Has anyone checked out the prices at Wayfair? The last time I checked I didn’t have a country club membership tucked into an alligator skin wallet lined with chinchilla.
Added on top of the fact that I hate everything about this commercially-driven event, is the truth that I’m not a rich man. Could you tell? Tim and I can’t afford to spend those extra dollars to make each other happy for 15 minutes while we’re ripping open paper and boxes. We just don’t have that luxury. December 25th is the same as September 25th to us. It’s another day that we have to figure out what we can afford to eat for dinner that night, and how we’re going to pay for the gas in the car. Adding a holiday to the day doesn’t make our circumstances any different. I went to a friend’s house today; she had Christmas papered all of her bedroom doors, had decorations everywhere one could scan their eyes, and even a snowflake blanket draped over the back of her couch. I understand her enthusiasm just a little bit because she has two very young children. I’ve always thought that Christmas should be for the kids.
We, however, do not ALL have children. And some of us do our very best to steer clear of them.
I’m a regular guy who just wants to go to the grocery store on a Tuesday – in the month of December – and be able to leisurely stroll through the aisles adding necessary ingredients for future dinners without all the extra foot traffic. Or the longer waits to cash out. My goal was to walk in, get what I needed and get out within the shortest time possible. This goal is always elongated in the month of December. The same goes for ANY retail store I choose to visit. The level of craziness immediately escalates the moment America clears the Thanksgiving day feast from the “family table” and it continues on its raving lunacy until we reach midnight on January 1st on the calendars.
I know I cannot be the only one who hates this time of the year. However, I’ve learned (a long time ago) that I will NOT go broke buying gifts for anyone who doesn’t appreciate them really. I used to have a family member (No. I will not reveal who it was.) that would open the gifts, and when everyone left would turn to me and ask, “Why would they think I’d want that shit?” and ask me if I wanted it. That’s how Christmas is to me. I can safely say that in the past ten years NO ONE has asked me what I want for Christmas. The truth is – I don’t want anything for the stupid holiday that I don’t even believe in EXCEPT – I would like it to be all over. Can it be January 2nd already??
Tim and I celebrate Thanksgiving at least three times a year. I cook a turkey or do rotisserie chicken and we eat sweet potatoes and green beans. That way when Thanksgiving comes – it’s no big deal. We basically do the same with Christmas. We buy each other things all throughout the year when we can actually afford them. Not in ONE month so we go broke as hell trying to catch up because we spent out of budget. I wasn’t around when the Christ fellow was born, nor did I hang out with him at any point during his life (I suppose his teenage years were pretty uneventful since nothing is ever documented from his birth to his 30s) but I’m pretty secure in saying that all this unnecessary cash flow, the music, the advertisements, the cars in the driveways, and the hair-triggered hostility toward everyone because EVERYBODY is on edge is not how the guy would have expected us to celebrate his immaculate birth.
Yep. ‘Tis the season. And I dread every minute of it.