Ten years. That’s a big chunk of my life to be doing the same thing day after day. My life has been a constant barrage of paperwork, keys, and people. Always people. Most of them were kind, some of them were indifferent, but I always remember the cranky sons of bitches for some reason.
And the phone calls. Those damned things never ended. From early morning to late at night. This phone of mine had no problems ringing. Usually at the most inopportune time. I learned how to have full, serious conversations on the telephone without the other end of the line ever knowing I was wiping my ass in the bathroom.
I like people – for the most part. I like to think I play well with others as long as I only spend time with them in ten minute increments. Any second after the initial ten minutes and they’ll start to see the aggravation on my face and hear the irritation in my voice. Just seconds after the ten minute mark I’ve clocked out of the conversation and am pretty much ready to move onto the next person for the next ten minutes.
Apparently I can only stand to do things in increments of TEN.
My adult hobby is now what used to be my punishment when I was a toddler. Going to bed early, playing inside, and being placed in solitude until my attitude changes used to piss me off in my younger years. Now, as an adult, it pisses me off if I DON’T get to do those things. Weird how that worked out.
It’s said, “If you love something, let it go.” That seems to be pretty true. I’ve been the property manager of an apartment complex for ten years, and I’ve finally decided to move on. Not because it’s good for the complex, but because it’s good for me. The grass is where it is because I put it there. I watered it and watched it grow. I know the story behind the crack in the sidewalk. I can tell you the history behind each and every apartment and why that stairwell only has 13 stairs instead of 14 like everyone else. But with the owners changing an average of every three years around here, I got tired of making someone else their livelihood and not concentrating on mine. I wake up…I go to work on the complex. I go to sleep…I’m mulling through the apartment day in my mind when I close my eyes. That all had to stop. I used to be a Bishop (or a pretty damned good Knight) in this game of life. Lately, I’ve been demoted to being a Pawn. I wasn’t having any of that. Not when I can be the King in my own game. And my game can be pretty fun if I can just get to it.
So I’ve decided to let go and concentrate on myself. Maybe you’ll see the change for the better in the months to come. Maybe you won’t. The one thing you WILL see is that I’ll begin to like people once again. And I won’t have that stupid phone forever grouted to my ear. I’m clocking out of the apartment world; I’m ready to start the next ten years picking these ideas out of my head and put them on canvas or paper.
It’s time for a cool change. Are you with me?
Tags: freedom, Life in General, moving on, Talking Out Loud, time