Take Me Somewhere Else
What is this trend going on in the United States lately? Why does everyone get so offended by everything? Were we always offended by such petty shit and just never said anything because the rule always was: “If you have nothing to say, then don’t say anything at all.” That was THE law. A law that seems to have expired.
My WTF? moment was when people got so upset over Michael Sam and his boyfriend (does this tramp have a name?? Is it Candy?) kissed….on tv….in front of God and everybody. And we know God was there because so many people with god in them made sure we knew the big guy was not a happy camper.
Why do so many people have Philemaphobia (the fear of kissing) in this country? No one should ever be offended when someone expresses their adoration for another. I would think that love is a GOOD thing. Another unwritten law is “you can never get enough of a good thing,” That law seems to be stagnant. Just sitting there waiting to be re-explored. There’s not enough GOOD going around; the ugly, nasty virus of the human condition is spreading faster.
We kiss everything. Or, okay…to be fair…I kiss everything. Maybe you don’t. I have kissed Tim (because for a successful relationship to last as long as we have there has to be some kissing in there somewhere once in a while), I kiss my dogs (but only from the neck up. Usually on the nose. I take that back…I kiss my male dog on his chest when I turn him on his back. Oh my gawd…did I turn my dog gay??) I kissed the Zippo lighter that I had thought I lost but found in the dryer two weeks later. I kiss boo boos all the time. I kiss scratch off lottery tickets before I scratch them. Which might explain why I never ever win any money on those things.
So I was talking (texting..rather) my little bratty brother, Josh, who lives up in Massachussetts about his four days off and how pot seriously killed my toothache pain and how I’m going to be an uncle in October (his first child!) and how people get so offended over a kiss. We decided that if Philemaphobiacs see other people kissing often enough, then kissing will become boring and commonplace and won’t offend anyone anymore and, in the end, will cure their fear of our lips touching something other than them.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take pictures this weekend of you kissing something or someone. When you post it to your social media outlet (Facebook, Google+, Tumblr, Instagram…whatever…I don’t have all day to list these places. I have some kissing to do!)…use the hashtag #thiskiss and let’s get a worldwide trend of kissing acceptance going on! Whether its hetero kissing, same-sex kissing, inter-species kissing, or kissing inanimate objects…kissing should never offend anyone. Unless they’re not getting kisses. Then hold on, I’ll get around to you as soon as I possibly can. (I probably should run out and get some chapstick)
On the plus side of #thiskiss is that you can now walk up to total strangers and tell them you need to take a picture of you kissing someone so you can post it to #thiskiss and – well – of COURSE they’ll want to be a part of that and you’ll get to kiss them and take a picture of it. This isn’t offensive at all. This could be the start of something beautiful.