Take Me Somewhere Else
Today I heard someone on the news that I listen to here in the studio call Halloween “a holiday”. I’m not exactly sure it’s a holiday. I still got mail, the banks were open (at least my bank was), and schools operated like they normally would on any given Tuesday.
I am not fond of Halloween. I don’t get the whole costume thing. Why do we have to dress up on only ONE day of the year? Why can’t we do it any day? That’s just a whole lot of money thrown at a costume shop for something you’ll use only one day a year. This celebration (that’s what this is…not a “holiday”) was basically created by businesses to boost their already fat wallets. Just like Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Cinco De Mayo. Although, I rather enjoy Cinco De Mayo.
Tim doesn’t eat candy. Period. He just never has. And I’ll eat chocolate, but not very much of it. So the candy that I DO buy I don’t want to share with children. I don’t even like children. There aren’t any in my house, and the ones in my neighborhood get on my every nerve when I hear/see them. Why would I want to give them treats for knocking on my door? If they KNEW me, they would know I don’t enjoy someone knocking on my door (just ask anyone who has actually knocked). My dogs go nuts and I have to silence them by screaming at them. It’s just not fun. That little button next to the door is a doorbell. Use it. That’s why it’s there.
Costumes aren’t cute. They look thrown together (they usually are) and aren’t very creative. I know a few grown ups that throw on eyeliner. Okay…that’s what they do when they go out to the clubs. And there’s nothing you can do to your hair to surprise me. I live in Dade City, which I am convinced is the Hair Weave Capitol of the World. I’ve seen every color there ever has been created. Don’t even get me started on dressing up animals for Halloween. That’s not only dumb, it’s cruel. Dogs and cats can’t tell you not to dress them up since they haven’t mastered the English language, but look at them. NO animal is excited they’re wearing a costume. They’re desperately trying to tear the damn thing off. And, in my opinion, it’s not cute.
So the celebration of Samhain (which, by the way, is a Celtic celebration of the end of the harvest and the beginning of Winter) has been dumbed down here in America. Churches celebrate it in our town. Didn’t they do their homework to know this is actually a Pagan ritual/feast/dance?
And before I forget – I hate everything Pumpkin. Pumpkin Spice, Pumpkin Latte, Pumpkin anything. Ick. I don’t know how you people eat such nasty garbage. But keep that crap away from me. I don’t even like pumpkin pie. I might as well just go get baby food and stuff my face. It tastes the same to me.
I don’t get Halloween. I don’t like kids. I don’t want ANY one knocking on my door. And I don’t want to share the chocolate that I have, unless you’re having chocolate withdrawals. Then I’ll share a candybar with you. But I had better see you foaming at the mouth and your eyes rolling to the back of their sockets. For an added extra touch – I’d be more convinced if I see you shaking a little bit. Other than that…Boo Humbug.