Take Me Somewhere Else
Showering has been part of my daily ritual ever since I was around 6 years old and my mother finally let me stop taking baths and stand in the tub like a man. To this day I can remember the joy I felt that I was no longer going to be sitting in my own ass juice. Well…I no longer hold joy for the cleaning ritual.
Mainly because taking a shower has become a chore. I don’t shower in the mornings because, frankly, it takes me a good hour to stop growling and to wake up. Once I get the coffee flowing in my veins and two or three cigarettes in my lungs I am just about ready to hit the shower. Even then, when I step from the bathroom carpet in front of the shower into the shower itself — I’m still growling. My main thought is, “why hasn’t anyone come up with an automatic shower yet???” Automobiles have car washes, clothing has washers and dryers, dishes have a dishwasher. So why not humans?
I’ve done research on this subject. I’ve learned the average showering time is 15 minutes. I go beyond that. My showers take 25 minutes. Why? Because I have a ritual that I can do in my sleep (and have done in my sleep, actually).
And then we’re done. Time to hop of out the shower to the drying process. Which is a mini chore all by itself. All in all – this is my daily workout that I dread every morning/afternoon. Mainly because after my heart attack I can’t breathe like I used to. So I get dizzy no less than three times during this process. I have been known to have to sit (or rather – squat) in the shower until the dizziness passes. I honestly feel like I just ran a marathon by the time I’m dry and have put on clean clothes.
So again – WHY hasn’t anyone come up with an automatic shower yet? I walk in, spread my arms, close my eyes, and in ten minutes the cleaning process is complete for me. I saw it on The Jetsons when I was a kid. That was a very long time ago and plenty of time for someone to come up with the idea and make billions creating this for all of us who hate showering. I know I can’t be the only one. Well…it turns out someone did think about it in Japan. At least – someone also had the same dream as I do. I would hope that in the future someone would take this idea and help us out. I don’t want to ever be one of those old people that doesn’t take a shower. I don’t stink normally (because I shower) but I can’t promise anything when I’m in my 70s or 80s.
Why cold rinses matter: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/241614