Take Me Somewhere Else
I have fallen into a rut. I’ve been successful these past decades steering clear of ruts. Yet somehow I’ve run smack into one and I’ll be damned if I know how to get myself out of it.
I’ve also – somehow – turned my sleeping pattern inside out. I used to be in bed by midnight and woke up every morning at 7am with a promise to myself that I would nap at 5pm. Sounds reasonable, yeah? Well now I don’t know when I go to sleep. Lately I’ve been crawling into bed at 2pm to wake up at 6pm or so. And then I go back to sleep (for a nap) at midnight. But like now…I just woke up at 3:39am. Which is fine since I like this time of the night. It’s incredibly quiet. Except for the occasional car rolling down the country road with their music blaring loud. I don’t have to hear the neighbors with their obnoxious conversations right outside of my window. The baby factory is asleep. And the dogs out here in the country are asleep. The roosters are even asleep right now. Far off in the clear distance I can hear the train whistle blowing. WHY that conductor feels he has to blow the horn on that train constantly for thirty minutes is beyond me. I would hate to have to live over on that side of the county and have to hear that every single night. I’m told one gets used to it. I would be writing letters.
I’m surprised I can even hear that train since I’m losing my hearing. I suppose that part of the old age program is not being able to hear very well. It’s sort of expected since I wear headphones a lot – and have since I was able to buy headphones on my own. Tim and I spend our days having each other repeat what we just said because the other one didn’t hear them. I’ve said “hunh?” so many times that now I use a more forward and demanding, “WHAT?” Most of the problem is that Tim talks like he’s having a conversation with himself. The other bits of the problem is that I just cannot hear him. He speaks English. That’s not the problem. And I did purchase the good Johnson and Johnson Q-Tips. We were using these cheap bitches that bent when you stuck the q-tip in your ear. Tim has had a few stuck in his ear. So we pay the extra money for the good stuff. I can’t be taking Tim to the emergency room with a q-tip stuck in his ear. Styx (our dog) likes her ears cleaned with the q-tips when I clean mine. So it’s best to get the good stuff. There are some things you just can’t go generic on. Toilet paper is one of the other things you just spend extra money on. Your ass will thank you.
I’m not sure I would call myself a “news junkie” although I have the news playing on the television the entire time I’m here in the studio. I don’t hear it most of the time. It’s just noise playing in the background. Tim (or one of our friends) will remark on something they’re talking about on the tv and I’m totally not in the loop because I wasn’t paying attention. It could be anything playing on that tv and I’d be fine with it. Except…EXCEPT…MTV. No MTV on my televisions. I don’t know when MTV switched to an annoyance. But it has. I can’t even understand what they’re saying on the tv half the time. If it wasn’t for MTV I would have never known how to activate the closed captions on the contraption. I don’t know what language they’re speaking on that channel…but it certainly isn’t English. It’s more like internet short keys. You know how you have to hit CTRL + V to paste instead of just putting a “paste” button on the keyboard? Yeah…that’s how they talk on MTV. In keyboard shortcuts. Sort of like when someone says “24/7” instead of “all day, every day”. It’s the same amount of syllables but someone somewhere along the way thought saying “24/7” was cuter and hipper and everyone went along with it. I won’t hear anything else on that tv until “24/7” comes along and then I growl. Same thing with “fam-lee”. Uh..it’s “fam-eh-lee”. There’s an I in family. Or “Rusher”. It’s RUSSIA. Not Rusher. Don’t even get me started on “Missouri vs Missourah”.
The other reason I don’t listen to the tv is because the whole country has turned into Presidential advisers. Everyone knows what it takes to run this country, yet no one is doing it. It’s all become one clusterfuck of talk…no action. If you see my posts on any social media site you know I am vehemently opposed to the current White House and the clown in charge of the country. No one is doing anything about it. And all day…every day (or 24/7 for you cool people) it’s all reports on what that mango moron is doing. I don’t want to know what he’s doing. Just tap me on the shoulder when he’s either being impeached or jailed and then I’ll pay attention. Until then I’m turning the volume on my television down to a comfortable 4 or 5 level.
Tim hits the back of my chair every time he goes to the balcony, and every time he goes back downstairs. I suppose he’s tagging me. At first it used to jolt me, now I’m used to it. When/if he ever decides to come back to haunt me I’ll know it’s him only if he knocks the shit out of the back of my chair. Or if he leaves drawers and cabinet doors open. Or if lighters start to mysteriously start missing.
I suppose that’s it for now. I can’t be too cranky in one day. I’m going to start calling these the “Cranky Old Man Diaries”. They’re full of nothing and yet they help me prepare to write the novels I am eyeballs deep in. I have a deadline of October for the second book in the GEMIN series. Then I’ve got three other books on the sidelines. I have plenty to write about; just nothing in real life to write about exactly. So, until next time…conserve electricity and eat your broccoli. And try to be nice to each other. It’s not that hard. You should try it some time.
Now -get off my lawn!