There are times when something written makes me smile.  It’s not often…granted.  Bills don’t make me smile.  Reading instruction manuals don’t make me smile.  But once in awhile something is written and it throws me totally off guard that I either have to giggle at it…or it tears me up.

This is one of those “tears me up” cases.

For anyone that has been listening to my podcasts for the past (wow!) 3 years…you all know I have had microphone issues.  I have gone through at least 12 microphones trying to find the right one.  Rob has given me 2 of them in hopes that my microphone hunt would come to an end.  Well…it hasn’t come to an end until a few days ago.  FINALLY!  Sandy sent us a Blue Snowball microphone.  This thing rawks!  If you’re doing any kind of voice recording…this is the microphone to get.

Along with the microphone (and some sort of keyboard thing for Tim) was a letter.  Sandy and I have been illegally related since 1997.  Illegally because I am not allowed to marry Tim.  So Sandy is my illegal brother-against-the-law.  Acronymically “iBATL”.  Which suits the Apple phreak perfect.  haha  Anyway…back to the letter….it was the sweetest fucking letter ever.  I took a picture of it.  Here it is and I’ve quoted it below in case you can’t see it in its entirety:

Dear Tim and Charles (ok, ok..Chuck!),

I won’t make this a long letter as I need to get it out to you so please excuse my messy handwriting.

You both bring a lot of joy to my life and serve as a constant reminder to be thankful for all that I have - great people and the opportunity to wake up to a better day.

There is so much that I wish I could give to you both but can not at this time.  Life is short and I hope that we will always share great moments in the future.  You are my sane men (scratches out something) in my life.  I need that.  Thank you.  When I get to thinking about model relationships, I always reflect on the example provided by you both.  And when I think I’m a little crazy, odd, misunderstood or slightly weird….again I reflect on you two.  Then I instantly feel sane!  =)

Please accept my meager gifts.  Though they are for both of you, I do hope the Snowball will help Charles with better quality podcasting and ease of use.  Maybe you can rid yourself of that ‘mixer contraption’ and have more space to do what you enjoy.  Tim enjoy your MIDI CONTROLLER and please learn how to use it and the built-in shortcuts on your DAW.

Be safe, God Bless and be well!

Love Always,

Sandy (your brother)  ==> your brother, too Chuck! =)

My retort:

First of all…it’s Chaus…not Charles.  You know a guy 13 years and he still doesn’t get your name right.  JUST like a man.

Second….your handwriting is NOT messy.  I will take a handwritten letter over an email or text anyday.  You have good handwriting.  ”Pretty” even.  Almost girly.  haha

Third…every single time I talk to you on the phone, my sides hurt from all of the laughing you make me do.  And I can’t see shit because you’ve made me laugh so hard until I cried.  And you KNOW how I feel about Tim’s family.  Having you as the other person I can tolerate in the family is a huge bonus.  You’ve become another organ in our family instrument here.  We have the heart, the soul, the moments….now we have the Sandy.  No transplant needed there either.

Fourth…you don’t have to send us anything.  Ever.  But you continually make sure Tim is happy and doing his goofy little dance that he does when he’s thrilled about something.  So thank YOU for that.

Fifth….I’m not so sure about “model relationship”.  haha  But that is an extreme compliment.  Thank you.  The best secret on having a successful relationship is to stop trying so hard to have one.  Day by day is the way to do it.  And, of course, the relationship is only as strong as the support system.  Tim and I can’t do it alone.  Our “tree” has branches.  You’re totally one of the huge ass branches toward the bottom of the tree that we can use to climb up to the top where the proverbial birds of happiness live.

Sixth…if it has buttons and knobs on it, Tim will never let it go.  So the request to get rid of the mixer contraption is a nice gesture…but I honestly can tell you that Tim will keep it.  You of all people should know that.  haha

Finally….thank you for the awesome letter.  I know we talk.  I know we have conversations that go on forever.  I know there is love there.  You’re just like me…if I say “I love you”…I mean it. You’re loved here.  Tons.  Sending Tim packages is not necessary to confirm and maintain that love.  Although it does help ME to keep him less grumpy.  haha  It’s been said that “you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family”.  That statement is false.   Rob, and Josh, and Joseph, and Sandy are my family.  I didn’t get to pick them though.  They were picked for me.  =) Your words…your actions…your well wishes…they are all things that heal both Tim and me when we need it the very most.

Great letter and great microphone!  Thank you so much.  I just wanted to share all of it with everyone who reads my blog.  I didn’t use your last name, so you’re identity is still secure there on your CIA mission on Mars.  No one will know what you’re up to.  *wink*

It has been a LONG time since I’ve been live on the air.  With so many technical difficulties I think we FINALLY have it right.  Thank you to everyone for your support, and to Sandy for a microphone that finally works the way I want it to.

So now I will be broadcasting every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the masses.  I play club tunes from the 80s to today.  Sometimes you have to close your eyes and chair dance with the rest of us.

I’ve also made it possible for everyone to listen to the podcasts in case you miss the live broadcasts.  For you pc users….just click the black BOOM! button in the sidebar.  If you have an iphone and would like to listen to the podcasts on your phone..just click the yellow iBOOM! button.  It takes less than a minute to upload onto Quicktime on your iphone.  Once you’re in…JAM AWAY!

No commercials…no fees…no crap.  Just 90 minutes of pure energy brought to you by me because I think you deserve a break from real life to get some music in your system.

Enjoy!!  Leave some feedback.  I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Tunes on this podcast include remixes of:

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

I Just Wanna Fucking Dance - Jerry Springer Opera

When I Grow Up - PussyCat Dolls

Fascinated - Suzanne Palmer

Feedback - Janet Jackson

Walk Like An Egyptian - The Bengals

I Stay In Love - Mariah Carey

Cool Vogue - Paffendorf vs Madonna

Boy - Book Of Love

Ice Under Pressure - Vanilla Ice vs Queen

Man In The Mirror - Hed Kandi vs Michael Jackson

You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

Ever since I was about 8 years old and could beg my parents for the snazzy new AM/FM radio for my birthday…I’ve had Michael Jackson in my ears.  I had an ecletical taste of music.  Elton John, Queen, Michael Jackson, Boston, ELO…it was all over the map.  But the ONE guy who could get me to dance was Michael Jackson.  His music had that magic.

Then came the birth of MTV.  I remember sitting there in the Day Room on Tyndall Air Force base watching MTV come to life with the guy jumping out of the lunar module sticking the MTV flag on the moon.  Video Killed The Radio Star was the first tune played.  But Michael Jackson reigned supreme in the videos they showed on that channel.  And yes…back in the 80s MTV used to be videos ALL the time.  24/7.  When Michael Jackson produced a new video…you watched it.  You couldn’t help but watch it.  It was a movie!  Epic really.

Let’s point out the elephant in the room.  Michael Jackson was weird.  Tim said Michael Jackson was from the planet Bizarro.  But the man could make you dance.  And he could make you watch him dance.  This is one of those unique “once in a lifetime” persons.  We will never know another person like him ever.

Through all of MY years…I’ve had Michael Jackson music or videos or scandal in my life.  I am definitely not one to follow celebrities since they do nothing for me personally.  I don’t get upset when one of them pass away.  I feel they’ve lived their lives very well (better than most) and their estate will carry on.  But Michael’s passing is a bit weird to me.  I danced to his music in night clubs when I was old enough to go to clubs.  I played his music LOUD in my first car as I was driving around.  I have mixed and remixed his music to play in clubs when I was a dj.  I’ve listened to his tunes over and over just to understand what the hell he was saying.  We didn’t have the ability to find the lyrics online.  We had to learn them the hard way.

I’ve watched Michael Jackson grow up with me. I’ve seen his 80 different looks.  The last few years have not been kind to him.  I know a few friends that were excited about his shows in London that were coming up and was even invited to London to see them.  Michael worked all the way up to his demise.  I hope in his next life he gets to have a childhood.  And a normal life.  I will forever remember him as the smooth criminal he was.  Just a short week ago, PZ and I were texting and actually writing the words back and forth “Annie…are you okay??”.  So young or old, black or white, urban or countrified….you knew who Michael Jackson was.  Sure..his music will live on forever, but the King of Pop will be missed.

And you all know it’s inevitable that the Michael Jackson jokes will be coming around the corner soon.  So I’ll start them….what’s black and/or white and has red sparklies all over?  Michael Jackson in a recycling bin.  You know you’ll laugh at that in a month or so.  In the meantime…..one of my favorite Michael Jackson videos:

My birthday has never been a big deal.  A quiet day…and then a quiet night with Tim watching whatever movie I want (because it IS my birthday ya know).  And then sleep.  That’s usually how every birthday goes.  No fanfare.  No nothing.  I don’t expect gifts from Tim because we do birthdays and Christmas all year long.

This year was totally different.  My gawd was it different.  My birthday has been going on since the beginning of June.  I have seriously never said “thank you” so many times.  You ever notice how if you say a word over and over and over again that it starts to sound funny?  ”Thank You” is starting to sound funny to me.  ALL OF YOU who had a part in my birthday absolutely rawk!

Yesterday (the 22nd) was the actual day I popped my head out of my mother’s womb.  And, like I mentioned, I have been celebrating my birthday since the beginning of the month.  I really…seriously…did not expect anything yesterday.  I knew I had to meet Bruce at the office (which is like 45 minutes away from here) at 6pm.  That’s pretty much all I had scheduled.

So we set out at 5:15 to head to Bruce’s office.  We travel about 10 minutes before Tim says “Good Lord…how long is this road going to be?”  haha  Cracks me up EVERY time.  He will always be the first in the car to go somewhere.  But once we are actually in motion…he bitches about how long it’s taking to get there.  Someone really needs to build some sort of transformer thing that will “energize” Tim ahead of me on any trip.

After 45 minutes in the car…we get to Bruce’s office.  I’m in the office first while Tim is in the car worried about leaving the windows down a bit because it’s 100 degrees here in Florida.  I get a gift from Heidi (Hiedi?  I before E or what?  I’m lost there.) and Bruce.  It’s the coolest thing.  It’s a Batman action figure!  And it’s HEAVY!  I think the thing weighs more than I do.

This is seriously one of the coolest things I’ve ever gotten.  AND…it’s Batman.  So it’ll be right at home with my new Batman Ninja Stars and my new Batman Tin.  So I thought that was it, when Bruce told me that he wanted me to follow him to “someplace” and I would think it’s interesting.  Off we go in the car.  In a direction I’ve not been before.  Tim had to pull out the GPS system so that we wouldn’t get lost.  All of the trees and dirt roads all look alike.  Tim had me cracking up in the car because we were deep into unknown territory in the heart of the Florida woods.  We were trying to figure out what the hell I could find interesting in the woods.  Around curvy roads we go.  Tim said that Bruce was taking us out into the wilderness to chop us up…that would be interesting!  I think Tim has watched too many horror movies.  We finally get to where we were supposed to be going.  Bruce has a friend out in the middle of the woods in a BEAUTIFUL house with so much land.  On this land is a huge 80 car garage.  haha  And in that garage…Bruce’s friend is building a car.  Not just ANY car.  But….the batmobile!  He’s building it from scratch from the chasis of a Lincoln Continental.

This was so cool!  The guy building the car (I think his name was Bob….I was so thrilled to be in the Batmobile I forgot his name) was awesome.  He said when he gets it finished (in a month or so) he will take me out for a ride in it!  woohoo!

Thank you to EVERYONE for making my birthday special.  Rob, Jojo, PZ, Bruce, Hiedi, Sandra, Lucas, Jase, Rhonda, Dmitry, Matt (who actually sung the song to me and you can hear it by clicking here >> 

 

 Matt Singing : Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Seriously…thank you ALL!  I am seriously tuckered out now.  whew!

This is a rerun of the blog I did last year.  I honestly didn’t want to put myself through another hour trying to think of something positive to say.  I decided to put up what I’ve said already.

This is one holiday I never get to participate in. Not being a “father” and all. I’m not even priestly…so I can’t be a father in that respect. I could never be a father. I have zero patience and zero tolerance for children. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen kids act up in a store and I’ve thought to myself “I’d beat that little shit.”. And that’s why I wouldn’t father a child.

And besides….being gay slows down the process of being a sire.

I think I got my dislike for children from my father. He hated children too. It was his concrete commitment to beat his children daily. Back in the old days…it was perfectly acceptable to beat your children. Even if it wasn’t to discipline them. No one looked at you like you were a monster or called any agency. So my father got away with a lot. I pretty much hated that man from the time I could understand what “fucking old fuck” really meant and I could feel the dislike in my groin when I said it. I dreaded every minute I was around him. And I would stay away from the man as much as I could. At least out of arm’s reach.

When I hit 18 I pretty much emancipated myself from the family. Every one of them. But the main reason was because of my father. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the man. As the years passed….I would bump into the man in stores and stuff and as we had our uncomfortable 2 minute catch-up conversations…I began to feel sorry for the man.

Years went by and my father eventually divorced my mother after 32 years of marriage. So now SHE was free. My brothers all separated because they didn’t want anything to do with my father either, sans one. We call him “Dad Junior”.

Long story short….my father got news that he had terminal cancer. He decided to take his own life by shooting himself in the chest in his favorite chair in the living room where he always read the newspaper every morning. He died alone. The only person who even cared enough to take care of his “final wishes” was my brother. The one we called “Dad Junior”. Dad Junior cried and was upset and all I could do was sit there in the chair at the funeral home wondering what drugs Dad Junior was on or SHOULD be on. This “trauma” (which wasn’t a trauma to any of us) brought all of us together. Only because we all wanted to see the dead body to actually BELIEVE the monster we called “Dad” was dead. Sort of like killing a spider but if there’s no dead body…you know that bitch is lingering in a corner somewhere ready to jump on your ass and inject his poison when you least expect it. But yep yep….the old man was dead. And we were all finally free of the terror.

That was a few years back. Time to time I think of dear old dad. I didn’t turn out so bad. It could’ve been worse. But I think more about how alone he was at the end. How he couldn’t tell any of us about his problems because we had enough of our own. And mostly because he gave us those problems. You know….stress….self-esteem issues….how we duck when someone moves their hand too fast in our presence. I never celebrated Father’s Day. Never did the presents. I kind of regret that now. I probably should have acknowledged that he was “the dad” at least once a year.

So for all of the years I tried to wipe away the memory of my dear old dad…..this blog is to acknowledge that I DID have a father figure in my life. Happy Father’s Day Dad. I would have gotten you a tie…but you don’t need it where you’re at. Besides…I used them as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding you inflicted on me.

For all of you other guys who have a great relationship with your father…make sure you hug him or pat him on the back and take good care of him. Wish him a Happy Father’s Day for me too.  Oh…and for all of you out there who ARE fathers….Happy Father’s Day to you too.  Be good to your kids.  They’ll remember how you treat them forever.  Trust me.