It is what it is…..
I’m sure if you’ve read my blog before, you already know there is a lot of shit that bugs me. I’m getting to be an old man so I think I am entitled to be a little bit grumpy about things. Like….
1)…..these stupid sayings everyone has down here in the south. Whenever someone can’t explain something or give me a reasoning behind their actions…they let it go with an “It is what it is”. Yeah…it is! But why is it what it is?? And how can we change what it is to what it’s supposed to be? Everytime I hear “It is what it is”…I growl. Almost as loud as when…
2)…..I look at my skin and wonder where has the time gone? I remember when I was a kid and I used to touch and look and feel my grandmother’s skin and wonder why her skin looked different than mine. It didn’t stretch and it had these little squares all over it. NOW…I have my grandmother’s skin. I moisturize, I scrub, I do everything possible to keep my skin from falling into the “Grandma” category, but it listens just about as well as…
3)…..the old farts that meander down the two lane highway for 20 miles at the same speed they would normally truck down their dirt road at home. This is a paved highway! Let’s get the speed up some, Pokey!! I would speed past them if there wasn’t yet another one right ahead of them doing the very same slow motion. They most certainly must live on the same dirt road or…
4)…..dodge and dive the thousand potholes in the roads here. It is unreal how many potholes there are here in Dade City. And not just holes…I’m talking craters!! With all of the money the county spends on filling the potholes over and over and over…you’d think it would be cheaper just to repave the entire road and get it over with. Driving down these roads is like playing a video game. Tim calls it “Frogger” since I have to duck and dive and steer a sharp right or left to avoid the holes. I dare someone to give me a ticket for reckless driving because I swear that I’ll…..
5)…..let it out that the cop cars I’ve been observing lately do not come to a complete stop when they come to a stop sign. The police cars seem to see YIELD when they get to these stop signs. It’s very lucky that I don’t have some sort of “citizens arrest” powers. I’d have half of these cops who force us to obey the law NOT obeying the laws themselves so broke with fines. Does the shield make them above the law?? If so…I have a shield that I got when I was back in Junior Discovery quite a few years ago. I’ll find that badge if I have to. Then I swear I’ll start pulling the police over for things I catch them doing. They will….
6)….Respect mah autharitah!! I am 47 years old now. When I have something to say to you because I see you going down the same hopeless road that I went down once (or twice or three times)…listen up! I’m going to pretty much tell you how I avoided the same mistakes. I’m trying to save you some heartache and some hard falls. Don’t look at me like I’m full of shit only to find out some days later that I was absolutely right. I think I pretty much know….
8)….that I have turned into my father somewhere down the road. Things I swore I would never do because my father did them…guess what?? I’m doing them exactly. Saying things like “kids nowadays” while I shake my head in disgust. Cursing out loud at people while I’m driving like they can actually hear me. I even find myself offering threats of bodily harm to the tv while I’m watching a football game, “if you don’t make this field goal so help me gawd I’ll break your legs myself!”. I’m also finding myself with very little patience to those who…..
9)……say “hunh?” after you say something to them. You know damn well they heard you. But their habit is to say “hunh?” like they didn’t hear you. Tim does that A LOT! I’ll say something and he says “Hunh?” and then I have to tell him “you heard me” and then he says “yeah…oh yeah…I did” and then answers my question. WHY did we have to go through the “hunh?” step?? I would gain so much time on the end of my life if I added up all the “hunh?”s I had to go through and wasted my time with. It’s almost as bad as…..
10)……stupid questions. I just told someone I’m driving into Tampa. They then asked “are you in your office?”. Ummmm…no dumbass. I just said I’m driving. To Tampa. Which is not where my office is. No one pays attention anymore. Listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth. Or…read what I’m writing you. I’m way too old now to spend time repeating myself. Which I don’t like to do anyway. Here’s a perfect example that just now happened:
And that will do it for now. I have so many more that I could write about. But I’ll give you a dose of ten at a time. Or you’ll go as mad as I am. haha Enjoy your week!
“Hey asshole….want to pick up the pace some here??? It’s a ‘highway’….not a ‘dieway’!! Jeezy Chreezy!!”
















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